Whether you’ve got some suspicions about your partner’s fidelity or just a little curious, take this quiz to find out if your partner could be having an affair.

1. When you first started dating your boyfriend’s Blackberry phonebook was full of:
a. A few buddies, a few exes, and lots of random girls.
b. His buddies, his parents, and you.
c. His buddies, his parents, you…and a few random girls.

2. You’ve been talking all week about the really big, really important meeting you have at work on Friday afternoon, when you return home that evening he:
a. Isn’t even home. There is a note on the table saying he went for a few drinks with his buddies.
b. Immediately rushes in to ask how the meeting went.
c. Doesn’t say anything but as soon as you mention it he takes a genuine interest in hearing about how it went.

3. His phone rings during a date and you get a glimpse of an unfamiliar number, he:
a. Doesn’t make eye contact and takes the phone into the other room to take the call.
b. Answers it and starts chatting away right next to you.
c. Ignores it.

4. You’re out at a bar and he sees his best friend’s girl with another guy, he:
a. Ignores it and when you question him he says it is none of his business.
b. Pulls out his phone, takes a pic, sends it to his buddy, and then calls him right away.
c. Sends his friend a text telling him he just saw a girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend at the bar with another dude. From there he leaves the problem up to him.

5. You and your man sit down to have that serious talk about past relationships, his naughty little secret is:
a. That he cheated on his ex…a few times…but that “it was no big deal really”
b. That he has fantasized about other girls while in bed with his exes…but who hasn’t right?
c. That he cheated on his ex once but was so wracked with guilt he came clean and could never see himself doing it again.

6. A few months back you suggested that maybe your boyfriend should take up a new hobby. What did he do?
a. Nothing. But he does seem to be taking a lot more late night meetings at work.
b. Signed himself up for cooking classes so that he could finally make you a romantic dinner once and a while.
c. Bought a membership to the city’s most exclusive gym and all of a sudden has the body of a Greek god.

7. Your sex life…
a. Is virtually non-existent
b. Is just as great as it always was.
c. Has its ups and downs. But that happens to every couple after a while…right?

Mostly A’s: He’s probably cheating

The very fact that you are doing this test is the first clue that you may have some suspicions about your partners fidelity, says Al Duncan, owner of the confidential investigation company Toronto PI. “What I always tell clients seeking help is that no one knows the individual party better then the client themselves – if a client has enough suspicion and worry that it drives them to the point where they call out for help, then usually their gut instinct is right”. Withdrawal of sexual activity, mysterious phone calls, and an increase in work meetings or late night activities are all signs that could mean your suspicions are correct. Your best bet is to sit your man down for a chat and explain all the changes you’ve noticed and give him a chance to explain. He may come clean and he may not. Either way you will have to decide if you will ever be able to trust him enough to live with what he may or may not have done.

Mostly B’s: He’s probably not cheating

He is so into you that he wouldn’t give a second look to a full truckload of Hooters girls. The guy who remembers things that are important to you and who is eager to make an effort to make you as happy as you make him is a guy who has no interest in being with anyone but the lovely lady by his side (that’s you!)

Mostly C’s: He could be cheating

This guy is a tricky one. This is the guy who likes to flirt, the guy who likes to go to the gym as much as he likes to admire his physique in the mirror, the guy who’s cheated before but swears he could never do it again. Basically, this is the guy that you haven’t trusted since day one. It is here that you have to decipher whether or not your man is actually acting suspiciously or whether you are just taking his behaviors and blowing them out of proportion because of your insecurities. Your best bet here is to be straight out and let him know that you are having issues trusting him and his behaviors. Chances are that if he’s not cheating he’ll make the efforts to change his ways. Most important here is to give him the benefit of the doubt. And if you can’t, then it is time to find yourself a new man….with a clean slate.

Al Duncan is a retired Detective Sergeant and was one of the longest serving members of the Toronto Police Service Internal Affairs Unit. His company Toronto PI offers a reliable and completely confidential service to members of the general public and corporate law offices in the areas of surveillance, missing persons, domestic and child custody matters, computer forensics, civil and criminal investigations. For more information visit www.torontopi.com or email info@torontopi.com

Will he propose to you soon? We’re no mind reader but your partner will be giving some definite signs if they’re getting ready to pop the question. So aside from digging through all his stuff to find the ring, here’s another way to find out if you’re about to get a marriage proposal.

1. Honestly, how serious is your relationship?

a. You’ve been dating for a while and things are pretty serious…most of the time.
b. He likes his space and to have his own time, especially with his guy friends. He’d definitely rather hang out with them than with you.
c. You couldn’t imagine your lives without one another.

2. The topic of marriage comes up between you and your man:

a. Once in a while but it still appears to makes him a little uncomfortable.
b. Never! He’d run screaming if you ever mentioned the “M” word.
c. Almost every single day, we’ve done pretty much everything but set the date!

3. Has he met your family?

a. He’s met them all once or twice and doesn’t seem to be in a huge rush to meet them again.
b. God no. The thought of meeting my parents sends chills down his spine.
c. Hundreds of time. But lately he’s been spending a lot of quality time with your dad….hmmm.

4. What is his opinion on children?

a. He wants them….eventually.
b. Children? You mean like those crazy, drool-laden, screeching things that make him cringe?
c. He’s already picked the name of the local little league team he’s going to coach with your sons.

5. What were his past relationships like?

a. He had a few serious ones, and a few not so serious ones.
b. That depends what qualifies as a “relationship”….
c. He’s always been a serial monogamist. He likes his relationships long term and when he knows there is no future, he’s gone in a heartbeat.

6. His last major expensive purchase was:

a. A trip to Cancun with you….and another couple.
b. A 42″ plasma television, complete with surround sound and an X-Box.
c. He hasn’t made any lately. He’s been pinching his pennies, saving for a rainy day….or something like that.

Mostly A’s: Maybe he will, maybe he won’t…

“It isn’t an overnight transition for guys to go from ‘wanting to one day get married’ to ‘actually being ready to get married’,” says Matt, a 31-year-old from Toronto who proposed to his girlfriend of six years in October. But just because your guy isn’t raiding your jewelry box to get your ring size doesn’t mean he won’t be ready one day. “I went through a lot of emotions to get to the point where I was ready including a complete fear of being with one person forever and a whole lot of ‘maybe I will, maybe I won’t’ moments. It was a very indecisive time in my life. But once I was sure, I was 100% sure.”

Mostly B’s: He’s just not that into you…

“I have a lot of friends who are so far from ever being ready to settle down,” says Matt. “Being a guy I can see all the signs but a lot of girls can be too hopelessly romantic to see it.” Warning signals that he’s not ready to commit include a reluctance to “classify” exactly what your relationship is, constantly picking time with his buddies over time with you, and putting his own needs (see X-Box purchase) ahead of yours.

Mostly C’s: Get ready for those four big words…

“When I knew I was ready to marry my fiance my entire world changed,” said Matt. “Suddenly I stopped thinking of her as my girlfriend and more as the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Now there was no fear when we talked about our future, like discussing about what we wanted for our wedding and what we were going to name our kids. I thought she sensed it too but she was so surprised when I did finally pop the question that I guess maybe she didn’t.” Maybe now you understand why him and your pops are so chummy after all…

Click here to read more on love, sex and relationships specifically for 20-somethings.

Some researchers claim that nicotine is more addictive than heroin – you’ve seen the pictures on the cigarette packages, you’ve received countless warnings, you’ve probably even tried quitting before. It’s hard! But not impossible, so here’s what you can do.

Chances are pretty good that if you’re reading this article you’re probably a smoker. And whether you are a smoker who is trying to quit, a smoker who is thinking about quitting, or even a smoker who has no intentions of quitting, this is a good place to start.

Know your options

The first and most important step is to decide what method of quitting is going to work best for you. With countless different methods out there right now, including nicotine replacement therapy (ie. the patch, Nicorette gum etc.), hypnosis, prescription drugs, and cold turkey, choosing how you will quit is a daunting task.

Krista Bennett from the Canadian Cancer Society’s Smokers Helpline, advises consulting your physician as well as one of their quitting specialists.  Canadian Cancer Society’s Smokers Helpline is a free confidential service available by phone, text, or online, to those who are quitting smoking.

Bennett says that nicotine replacement therapy combined with supportive counseling appears to be one of the the most successful methods of quitting.

Set the date carefully

“Set a quit date and mark it on your calendar,” advises Bennett, who says that having a date fixed in your mind often helps smokers to mentally prepare for the process of quitting and encourages them to  cut down their habit leading up to their quit date. Bennett advises that the day be picked specifically so  there is nothing stressful or prominent happening that could cause you to cave.

“When I finally decided that I was going to quit [smoking] I chose the day exactly one week after my last university exam,” said 26-year old Melanie, a smoker of six years who kicked the habit two years ago in June. “This way all the stress from those last few months was gone, but I was still able to go out and enjoy my post-exam celebrations in that week in between finishing school and quitting. And it worked.”

Get support

As soon as you have your date set, your next step is to start telling people about it. Making sure that your friends, family and co-workers know your quit date will hold you accountable, but will also prepare those around you for the process when you may not be in the best mood (to say the least).

“The first people I told were my parents and my sister,” said Melanie. “I knew they would be my strength through it all and they were. They jumped right on board with me, and my dad, who was a casual smoker himself, agreed to join me in quitting so we’d have that moral support. They were all really great. And now my dad and I have both been smoke-free for nearly two years.”

Have an action plan

“I scoured websites for different ways to deal with cravings,” said Melanie. “I figured out what my weak spots were and I figured out ways I would deal with each of them.”

For Melanie those weak spots were her morning coffee break and driving in her car. “I loved smoking when I was driving, and since my job involved a 45-minute commute every day I knew it was going to become one of my biggest obstacles,” she said. So after cleaning her car to get rid of the smell, Melanie bought a bag of sugar free mints and dumped them into her centre console where she used to leave her cigarettes.

“Every time I felt myself needing to reach there for my pack I would grab a candy and suck on it. By the time it was gone my craving would have passed and the minty taste in my mouth was so much better than the taste of cigarettes.”

At the Smokers Helpline they enlist the “Four D’s” to help combat cravings. “When someone is experiencing really bad cravings we give them the four D’s, which are Delay, Distract, Drink water, and Deep breathing,” explains Bennett. “It works because it is easy to remember, even at the worst of times.”

If at first you don’t succeed…

The old adage stands true here. If you slip up and find yourself smoking, do not be discouraged. Take pride in knowing that you took the first steps towards becoming a non-smoker and be confident in the fact that you will succeed when you are truly ready to do so.

“It took me three serious attempts to completely give [smoking] up,” said Melanie, who cited a poor support system (she didn’t tell her family about her quitting until her last attempt) and a lack of preparedness for her relapses. “The last time was different. I just knew that this was going to be it for me. I knew I was 100% ready to never smoke again…When you are really, truly ready to quit you will know it. It won’t make it any easier to succeed but, for me at least, it kept my will power stronger and that made a world of difference.”

The Canadian Cancer Society’s Driven to Quit Challenge is on now. Sign up at www.driventoquit.ca before February 28 and stay tobacco-free for the month of March for your chance to win a Ford Escape Hybrid.

Drop those crazy diets for good! Losing weight and staying healthy can go hand-in-hand for longer-lasting results than all those fad diets.

Grapefruit diet, all-bean diet, tapeworm diet, you name it and someone out there has done it! Put the tapeworm down and learn how to lose weight fast without compromising your health with these tips from some of Toronto’s top health and fitness gurus:

Be realistic

Healthy weight loss occurs at the rate of about 0.5 to 1 lbs per week, according to Hugo Low, a conditioning expert at Toronto-based fitness club Xtreme Couture, but weight can fall off quicker during the first few weeks of a weight loss regime. “Understand that during the beginning of someone’s fitness journey the numbers will be higher than the average. Someone who is severely overweight, with maybe 30-50% body fat, will lose more than the average person, sometimes anywhere from 5-10lbs per week.” And while this may sound great (and if you happen to lose a little more than planned, it is just an added bonus), it is important to be realistic about how much you will lose in the first few weeks in order to avoid disappointment. Remember, you are aiming for healthy and happy, not malnourished and miserable.

Be consistent

Evidence doesn’t lie and for women eating a 1,200-1,500 calorie a day diet that includes three healthy, portion-controlled meals and two small snacks, every day is the best way to lose those extra pounds and maintain a healthy weight. “The six days on plan with one free-for-all day does not work in the long term,” says Mary Bamford, a registered dietician with the Adelaide Clinic in Toronto.

Drink up

You know those hunger pangs you feel? Most often they are are actually thirst pangs and keeping your body hydrated is one of the best ways to ensure healthy weight loss. However, what you drink to quench that thirst is equally important. Skip the juice and the sodas (even the diet ones!) and reach for the H2O. No matter how you measure it, nothing can beat your standard eight to 10 glass of water a day. It will flush your kidneys of waste, will help your body metabolize fat more effectively, and will make you feel fuller when meal time comes around, which prevents you from gorging.

Hit the gym

Aim for 30-40 minutes of gym time three to five days a week, with lengthier and more frequent sessions if you are on a tight deadline. Mix up your routine, with a healthy dose of both cardio and weight training on different days, to keep you motivated and to see the best results. “Cardio will be very successful for most,” says Hugo. “However, the weight training is what keeps the weight off, so in the long run you cannot neglect this…it makes sense to do both frequently.”

Skip the crash diets

You know those drastic measures mentioned above? Skipping meals, cutting carbs, and eating nothing but grapefruits all fall under that heading and all will likely fail to produce the results you are looking for. “Most people on extreme crash diets just feel lousy; low energy, grumpy, achy, difficulty concentrating, thoughts obsessed with food, depressed mood; but a rare few will get serious and life-threatening complications,” says Mary, who advises medical supervision if a dieter sees no other option. “My warning is to be medically supervised if they insist on following an extreme crash diet. Tell your doctor and have him monitor the appropriate blood work…Medical monitoring is very important and necessary.”

Keep a journal

Documenting what you eat and your daily exercise regime is hugely important for reaching weight loss goals because it allows you to see exactly where you may be going wrong. Online diet journals such as www.fitday.com are the perfect place to record and study your daily caloric intake versus your physical output to ensure you stick to your numbers. And being “brutally honest” is a must, says Mary. “Get out the measuring cups and spoons for the first week so that you can estimate accurately,” she says. “In studies, overweight people tend to underestimate their actual intake by about 25% or 400 calories–that is why measuring everything is so important.”

Make it a lifestyle change

You’ve lost the weight so why stop now? Healthy living, including maintaining a healthy body weight, is a lifestyle choice and one that takes motivation, determination, and a lot of hard work. Remember the way you felt on your big day, or any other day when you’ve been at your healthiest, and think of that feeling often. Use it to help remind you, every day, how wonderful a heathy life can be.

Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a thrift store newbie, nothing feels better than finding a deal. We’ve compiled a few shopping tips from one of Canada’s top thrifty divas to help you navigate your local secondhand shop.

Recession or no recession, there is no woman (or man for that matter) who doesn’t love to get a great deal on fabulous clothes. With personal budgets still feeling the pinch of our slowly recovering economy it seems like more and more of us are looking for ways to stretch our pennies without sacrificing our individual style. With stylish second-hand consignment boutiques popping up all over the country, thrift store shopping has shed its ugly stigma and become recession chic.

Kelly Gadzala, creator of the Grunge Queen blog whose love for all things second hand began during her cash-strapped university days in Ottawa, has made it her mission to expose the joys (and sometimes the struggles) of being thrifty and stylish.

“Shopping thrift for clothing and accessories is a wonderful cost-effective way to either update key pieces in a wardrobe or even acquire some stellar statement pieces to build a wardrobe around,” says Gadzala. “The great thing about thrift is that you can find a whole range of stuff, like contemporary mass market labels, designer labels, retro and vintage pieces, so you actually have a lot of flexibility when it comes to defining or refining your look.”

Here Gadzala shares with us her secrets for how to become a successful thrift shopper with style:

Know your shopping personality

“Some people can’t stand the idea of wearing someone else’s castoffs,” says Gadzala. “Others get freaked out by the thrift store smell that seems to be in every shop.” For those who can’t brave the dust bunnies or the idea of digging for hours, Gadzala suggests trying a second-hand consignment boutique or even foregoing the whole thrift store idea and tackling the bargains at the mall.

Find a thrift-y target

Gadzala suggests that newcomers focus on a specific thrift store that suits their needs and preferred mode of shopping when they are first starting out. “If you’re more of a mass market label gal whose always out for a bargain, Value Village may be the place for you as [it] is a for-profit enterprise and as such it’s the company’s business to provide customers with popular labels.” Charity shops like Goodwill and Salvation Army will require a little more patience says Gadzala, due to the fact that these shops depend more on donations and therefore will require some digging to make a good find.

Avoid the overwhelming and start small

“Value Village and some Goodwill stores can be so packed with stuff it’s overwhelming to think about where to start,” says Gadzala. “If you think you’d feel more comfortable in a smaller venue try that thrift shop around the corner that’s not part of a chain like Value Village.” Wherever you choose to shop, Gadzala suggests first doing a sweep of the entire store to familiarize yourself with the setting and what each store has to offer. If you’re looking for something in particular try and hone in on a particular section (the jeans section, for example) and go from there.

Shop high on the food chain

“If I can get a dress at, say, Old Navy, for $29.99, why would I pay $15 for the same dress at Value Village?” says Gadzala of her “food chain” philosophy. “I look for great cuts, quality fabrics, good labels, and for minimal signs of wear and tear.” Steer clear of mass market labels made from cheaper fabrics and in trendy cuts, she suggests. Instead look for “good quality pieces, either current, designer, retro, or vintage”. Designer jackets, jeans (which she “never buys new”), jewelry, and handbags can almost always be found with a little searching and a good trained eye.

Build that trained eye

Learn the labels you love and always keep an eye out for them, and “always take a second look at something that says ‘handmade’, ‘Paris’, or ‘Italy’”. Don’t leave the store with an item unless you have tried it on and are being completely honest with how it looks on you. “If you’re not completely wowed, leave it there,” says Gadzala, since many thrift stores do not do returns or exchanges.

Get to know your shop keepers

Developing a relationship with your local thrift shops by checking in regularly and consistently donating goods can be extremely beneficial. “[It] can pay off in the form of discounts as places like Value Village give a 20 percent off coupon for a substantial bag of donated clothing, while the smaller places may eventually put stuff aside for you if they get to know your tastes,” says Gadzala. And don’t forget to ask when the shop puts new items out on the sales floor so you can be there when they do!

Make rules, but don’t be afraid to break them

“Every time I come up with a rule, I break it,” says Gadzala, as she explains how her ‘no-under garments’ rule went out the window when she discovered a striking green and turquoise negligee for $6.99 at a local thrift shop (she washed it really well!) and her ‘no-shoes-because-they’re-usually-stinky’ rule was completely forgotten on a great pair of $6.99 strappy wedge sandals “that looked practically new”.

However, her major “should-nots” include anything that’s outdated or too worn, pieces that don’t fit perfectly, and items that don’t fit perfectly with her lifestyle. “When you first start thrifting it’s way too easy to buy everything in sight because items are so inexpensive compared to shopping new. With time and practice you can really develop your thrift eye and become way more selective in what you buy, and I think that’s the sign of a good thrifter, to show a certain amount of restraint.”

Asking for a pay raise when the economy is on the fritz is not an easy thing to do, but here are some tips to help you approach the situation with tact and research.

So you’ve done it: you got the job, and you’ve worked your butt off getting there. But what happens when staff numbers start to shrink, work piles grow, and it becomes obvious that you are genuinely underpaid for the amount of hard work you are putting in? What is the best way to go about asking for a raise during a recession? We spoke to Shirin Khamisa, a certified career coach and founder of coaching company Careers by Design. Here are her tips for negotiating a pay raise in one of the toughest economies.

Be aware

“It is important to know your industry and how your organization has been affected by the economic situation,” says Khamisa. If there have been layoffs or pay cuts within your company and a pay hike is unlikely it is important to consider other benefits you could request in lieu of a monetary raise. “It is important to ask yourself the question, ‘what do I want?’…you must consider what is most important for you in life, maybe that is time off or working from home a few days a week.” Khamisa also suggests requesting opportunities that could take you to the next level within your company such as working more closely with your boss to gain leadership experience or seeking out directional change within your field to broaden your work experience.

Know your value

Knowing your value within the broader scope of your career field is essential. “Early on in our career we’re often thinking about how much we’ve contributed,” says Khamisa. “It is important to give yourself a reality check and to move from being internally focused to seeing what is going on in the marketplace.”

Get your hands on salary surveys, both from within your company and from within your field in general – this will help make comparisons between how much you are making and how much others with similar experience are making elsewhere.

Know your contribution

Clearly knowing what you have accomplished during your time with your company is one of the most important factors when approaching your boss for a raise. Khamisa suggests looking over old performance reviews and noting what it is you have been measured on and then judge how well you believe you have been doing in each area. If you’re not good at critiquing yourself try approaching your co-workers or other managers within the company and asking them to point out some of your strengths and contributions. Also, “collect all the feedback that has been given to you throughout the years and keep it. It will help you remember what you have contributed,” says Khamisa, who adds that the process is also a great self-esteem builder.

Have no fear

“Sometimes we may not ask for what we want because of our perception of our bosses,” says Khamisa. This especially rings true when money gets tight and people are frightened to disrupt the hierarchy of their company in fear of losing their jobs. In fact, says Khamisa, discussing raises or other benefits can actually do the exact opposite. “Knowing your value and seeing what the company can offer you is a great way to build a relationship between yourself and your boss because it lets them know you are not afraid to ask for what you want.”

Be prepared

Before entering the room on your big day, organize yourself. Have all your papers and documents available including duplicate copies for your boss. “Know your arguments, prove them logically, and end with a positive summary of what you believe your contribution to the company has been,” says Mike, the vice-president of a Toronto-based media company who is responsible for negotiating and organizing the pay packages of every employee within the company. More importantly, he says, let them know what your contribution will be in the future and be clear when laying out what you believe your new compensation package should be.

Come in peace

If this is not the first time you have requested a raise, and if you have been rejected before, it is important not to walk into your interview with any resentment or negative emotions, says Khamisa. “Some people go in with that energy and it is not good, it will not allow you to come to a compromise between you and your boss.” And maybe this time around the answer will again be a no, but it is essential to remember that it is not personal. Try leaving the door open, she says, instead of turning the experience into a negative one, ask that your request be reconsidered in three or six months.

Shirin Khamisa is a certified coach and counsellor who empowers people to create more happiness in their lives and work. To find out about how coaching can help you visit www.careersbydesign.ca or call Shirin at 416-519-8408 for a complimentary consultation.

The couch is a hard habit to kick. But being a couch potato can take years off your life, here’s how to quit the couch in 10 easy steps.

Along with cigarettes and caffeine, the couch can be a tough habit to give up but it’ll take years off your life. The CBC reports that a sedentary lifestyle can put you at risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease and obesity along with a myriad of other health complications (listed below). Finding the motivation to peel yourself off the couch when the temperature starts to drop is especially difficult but here are 10 ways to beat the couch potato right out of you:

1. Know the facts

Truth be told, there is nothing that is more motivating than learning the cold hard facts about how harmful an unhealthy lifestyle can be for you. “There are a number of problems that arise from living a sedentary lifestyle,” says Emily Sparrow, a professional personal trainer and owner of the Toronto-based fitness company Sky High Fitness. The problems with living a sedentary life:

- decrease in bone density leading to an increased risk of osteoporosis
- bad posture
- back pain
- increased risk of diabetes
- increased risk of heart disease
- increased risk of arthritis
- little to no energy
- lethargy
- bad sleeping habits
- little to no strength – particularly in the upper body for women
- low metabolism, which usually results in a very high body fat percentage

2. Give yourself a daily TV limit

Probably one of the best ways to combat your couch potato ways is to limit the amount of time you allow yourself to sit in front of the TV each night. Aim to limit yourself to one hour per evening by choosing your “must-see” show each day and turning on the TV only when the show begins and turning it off right after. Can’t live without your Thursday night lineup? Invest in a PVR system and record your shows to watch as a reward after exercising.

3. Get a membership…with all its perks

These days, most gyms are well-equipped to deal with the health-conscious-Grey’s Anatomy-addicted world we live in. Almost all gyms offer up TV systems strategically placed in front of their cardio machines that allow you to simple plug in your headphones and walk, run, or cycle your way through Meredith’s latest trauma drama. Plan your workouts to coincide with your favorite shows and you’ll be caught up on tomorrow’s office gossip without the guilt of a night of couch surfing (and munching!)

4. Make commercial breaks into fitness breaks

So maybe you just don’t have the time, or the financial means, to be hitting the gym whenever you please but don’t use that as an excuse. All it takes is a little motivation…and a lot of boring commercial breaks…to put a healthy spin on your TV obsession. Try doing push-ups (two or three sets of 10 repetitions), chair squats (without sitting all the way down!), bicycle crunches (three sets of 20 crunches) or jumping jacks (as many as you can!) during the entire length of the commercial breaks. Two hours of programming will have roughly 30-40 minutes of commercial airtime, which adds up to a decent workout.

5. Pump it up

Up the ante on your commercial time “fitness breaks” by using dumbbells to do upper-body exercises, 2-3 times per week while your shows are on air. “It is particularly important for woman to include both cardiovascular exercise and resistance training in their exercise regime,” says Sparrow. “It is the resistance training that will increase your bone density and increase the amount of lean muscle you have which will in turn reduce the risk of osteoporosis in later life.” Try alternating bicep curls (two sets of 12 reps on each arm) and overhead tricep extensions (four sets of 12 reps) one night and then alternating overhead shoulder presses and side arm raises and front arm raises on another TV night (four sets of 12 reps each). Remember that resistance is key here so lift the weights slowly for two seconds, hold for two seconds, and then take four seconds to lower your weights back to their starting position.

6. Have a ball

Invest in a stability ball to sit on while doing your exercises or just watching TV. Designed to encourage your body to respond to the instability of the ball, these inflatable workout tools engage and strengthen your muscles, particularly your core abdominal and back muscles, and improve your overall centre of balance.

7. Get interactive

Interactive gaming, like the WiiFit, is changing the way we do and enjoy exercising. Challenging and undeniably fun, interactive fitness video games are a convenient, and simplistic way to introduce physical activity to someone who is just working up the motivation to move away from the TV and start into a more active lifestyle. It is important, however, to remember that the virtual fitness world pales in comparison to the real thing. “Lifting weights via a video game versus going to the gym and doing it, you’re going to get better results when hitting the gym,” says Sparrow. “That said, if the video game is seen as a tool to help motivate you and get you off the couch…it’s certainly better than nothing.”

8. Get out of the house

Plain and simple: there is nothing that will get your mind away from what’s on TV like getting out of the house all together. “There are plenty of different ways to exercise and all of them can be turned into a fun and entertaining outing,” says Sparrow, who suggests rollerblading, bike riding, swimming, or team sports as excellent ways to get out of the house. “Exercise can be as simple as going for a brisk walk daily and as your stamina increases add some hand weights to hold along the way.”

9. Get into a group

“There are a number of outdoor group fitness classes your can join and not only benefit from the guidance of a professional trainer but the group camaraderie can play a large part in motivation,” says Sparrow. Check out online city-based forums to find walking or running groups in your area or hit your local gym and try out a group exercise class. “The important thing is to constantly challenge yourself and try to go that extra bit further everyday,” says Sparrow.

10. Stay motivated with S.M.A.R.T goals

“The best way to stay motivated is to set S.M.A.R.T goals” says Sparrow, who explains that the acronym stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

Specific: Sparrow says to ?take measurements before starting any fitness program and from there decipher what you’re goals are for a four week and eight week period. Having your goals written down is the first step to committing to achieving them.”

Measurable: having measurable goals is a way of tracking your progress using physical measures (i.e.. your chest, waist, and hip measurements) so you know exactly how successful or unsuccessful you have been.

Achievable and Realistic: making achievable and realistic goals is all about sticking to loosing only one to two pounds per week, explains Sparrow. “If you set your goal way beyond that you will be disappointed with the end result which can often lead to frustration and lack of motivation to continue working towards your goal.”

Time-bound: making time-bound goals means setting a time frame for which to achieve your goal weight, whether that be one month, six months, or one year from the time you start. “Figure out a goal that is both motivating and exciting for you to achieve, and remember to reward yourself once it’s achieved!” says Sparrow.

In Canada you have many options available to you, plus a variety of places to turn to for support when faced with an unwanted pregnancy.

Deciding to terminate a pregnancy or place your baby for adoption is possibly the hardest decision you will ever make. Luckily living in Canada means you have options and support to help you along the way. So when you find yourself pregnant and know you cannot keep your baby, what are your options?

Adoption

There are a number of things to consider when you decide to make an adoption plan. The first and most important is to find out how far along your pregnancy is and how it is progressing, and then decide if adoption is the right path for you. Tara, a 29-year-old from Red Deer, Alberta, was only 19 when she discovered she was pregnant and within a week of the discovery she and the baby’s father made the decision to place the baby for adoption. “My original choice would have been to terminate the pregnancy, however I found out I was pregnant too late to have an abortion,” she said. “As both the father and I were young and in college, living at home and wanting more for ourselves and our child, we decided to make an adoption plan.”

Once you know with certainty that adoption is the right choice for you, finding the right adoption agency will become the primary focus. In Canada, the most traditional route for adopting is through a public child welfare agency or a government adoption agency. However, the use of private agencies, which allow for direct placements between a pregnant woman and the adoptive parents, has become increasingly popular in recent years due to the lack of children under the age of two within the public sphere and the fact that many adoptive parents seek to adopt newborns.

Confiding in friends and family is very important during this time and their support and advice during these decision making days will be essential to ensure that no decision is too rushed or made in haste. Remember, your head may be a little cloudy and overwhelmed at this point and letting someone help a little with the load is always a good idea.

For Tara and her boyfriend, friends and family supported their wishes but Tara knew that many of them secretly wished they had parented the child themselves, including one friend who urged her to try and get her child back after the adoption had taken place. Luckily for them, however, this was not the end of their relationship with their child.

“I knew I couldn’t place my child for adoption and then just walk away and not know anything about the child,” she said, which was the main reason she and the baby’s father opted for an open adoption.

Deciding whether to proceed with an open or closed adoption is undoubtedly the most important decision you will make following the decision to make an adoption plan. In years gone by adoption was often an isolated, secretive experience and the birthparents relationship often ended the moment their child was handed over to the adoptive parents.

Today open adoptions are far more frequent and the lines of communication far more mailable for birth parents who wish to continue to know their child, whether just through vague yearly updates or face-to-face monthly visits. Nine years after giving up their child, Tara and her baby’s father see their child and the adoptive family a few times a year and correspond through emails and the occasional phone call.

The aftermath of adoption

And once all the decisions are made, there is little else to do but keep yourself healthy and wait for the arrival of your baby. For, as many have said before, there is little that can prepare you for the emotions that comes with giving up your child. Described as the “single most heartbreaking thing [she'd] ever had to do in [her] life”, Tara says that giving up her child was similar to the loss and grief that one experiences with the death of a loved one. “However, it’s complicated by the fact that the baby didn’t die and that society as a whole does not accept your loss and grief as valid since you were the one who chose to do this.”

Coping, Tara said, came with the help of a tight social circle that included her boyfriend (the baby’s father), her mom, a few close friends, and her agency social workers. Getting to know other birthmothers, like herself, also played a huge role in helping her overcome the pain of losing her child, she said.

So what happens in the aftermath of adoption? The biggest question may be ‘will I regret it?’ That all depends on your outlook on the situation and how you deal with it, says Tara. “I have regrets about how certain things happened during the process and I regret ever allowing myself to need to place my child for adoption, but overall [I have] no regrets.”

Abortion

While regulations and accessibility varies between provinces across the country, Canada is one of the only nations in the world with no legal restrictions on abortions. A plus and a minus in many eyes, what it means for a woman who finds herself in an uncertain pregnancy is that she has a choice.

It is important for any woman who is considering an abortion that it is a very final solution that can often come with a number of physical and emotional side effects that one needs to be prepared for.

Women have abortions for any number of reasons and talking these reasons through with your partner, your family, and close friends is essential at this time. The decision making process during an unwanted pregnancy can be stressful and deciphering who is supporting your decision and who opposes it, as well as how those people’s opinions affect your own, is extremely important, says the National Abortion Federation (NAF). Look at your future goals and figure out how abortion will affect those goals, and then think about your immediate plans and how continuing this pregnancy will affect them. Most important, says the NAF, is deciding what your personal stance on abortion is and how you will feel about your decision in one month or one year.

Once decided there are two types of abortion procedures available to women. The first is a surgical abortion, which is more evasive but with less pain and little recovery time (most women are usually back to their daily activities within a day) or a medical abortion, which is less evasive but can result in severe cramping and bleeding that can last a number of days. Deciding on your method will again depend on your beliefs and comfort level, as well as the stage you are at in your pregnancy (medical abortions can only be used in the first seven to nine weeks of pregnancy).

Following the abortion a majority of women feel a sense of relief but, as the NAF warns, some women can also experience feelings of loss, sadness, and grief. “There is no right or wrong way to grieve [after an abortion],” says the NAF. “The feelings are real, and you should give yourself permission to have them.”

Most clinics will provide post-abortion counseling for those women who are having trouble coping with their emotions, however if they do not, and you find yourself in need of such care, most can provide a referral to a clinic which will be able to assist you. And much like the adoption process, do not forget to surround yourself with loving and supportive people. They will make the biggest impact on you and your emotional state during this time.

Resources for adoption

Adoption Council of Canada
Your one stop website for anything and everything related to the adoption precess in Canada, including the provincial mandated legalities, statistics, FAQs, and a glossary of adoption terms.
www.adoption.ca

Canadian Adoption Resources
An online networking service for birth mothers (as well as adoptive parents) including information on adoption myths and risks, choosing the right adoption agency, and what you should and shouldn’t do during the adoption process.
www.canadaadopts.com/

iVillage Message Boards
Has a great section of its message boards devoted strictly to adoption with more that 110,000 posts and hundreds more posted each month by those considering adoption, those who have adopted, those who’ve already gone through adoption, and those who have been adopted.
parenting.ivillage.com/messageboards

BirthMother.com
An information and discussion site for birthmothers both in the pre-placement and post-placement stages of adoption. Included articles, stories, support forums, and information on how to cope before and after your adoption.
BirthMother.com

Resources for abortion

The National Abortion Federation: In Canada
This Canadian division of the National Abortion Federation offers information about services and resources throughout the country.
www.prochoice.org/canada/index.html

AfterAbortion.com
Offers message boards and chat rooms for both pre- and post-abortion women, as well as structured recovery support groups which place 15 women together to provide “an online, non-religion based, non-political healing program for women recovering after an abortion.”
AfterAbortion.com

eHealth Forum
This website hosts countless forums and answers millions of medical questions. It also includes a general abortion forum that covers an endless number of topics and provides answers to a number of posted questions on both abortion and adoption.
ehealthforum.com

The Experience Project
An anonymous open forum that allows anyone from anywhere to post experiences of any type. Today, more than 3 million have shared some of their most personal and daunting life experiences including decision to terminate pregnancies and give babies up for adoption. An insightful and inspiring website for another who feels alone in this world.
www.experienceproject.com