Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you and this isn’t a sad letter telling you that I’m shutting down the site. But I’m going to be honest because there’s a lot of you still coming to the site everyday even though I haven’t updated in awhile (you have so much good karma coming your way, may Bradley Cooper shower you with kisses..…yeah I know, Ryan Gosling’s hotter. Listen, you get 2011’s sexiest man alive. I don’t work for People magazine, take it up with them).

So here’s what I’ve been wrestling with. I don’t like pink. Well, not that I don’t like it but I think I’ve just outgrown it. The colour doesn’t suit me anymore. I am not a peppy, pink, shiny girl who loves networking, expensive restaurants and hosting fancy parties. Frankly, that stuff really stresses me out (rewind to my hyperventilating panic attack before the launch party of this site. Thanks, Sean : ).

And I also don’t care about quick easy weight loss tips, beauty secrets of super models, and what perfume matches your dog’s personality that will hook you a husband in 10 days. So I looked at other websites created for you guys (and holy crap, are some of them ever successful!) and I tried to fit in. Frankly, I felt like an outsider trying to squeeze in with the cool kids. Because guys, I’m not cool.

My parties are not fancy, they’re loud and messy and they leave my floor sticky for days no matter how many times I mop. I care more about my career than my hair. And if you are looking for good dating advice, you are in the wrong place, my friend. Believe me.

So with all of that in mind, I have been struggling to redesign the logo and editorial concept for this site for the past year to make it something…more.

I wanted to let you know that I have not given up. I’m just going to redecorate this place while you’re on vacation. And I’ll see you when you get back.

xoxo
Dayna

This is a continuation of a previous post so read this one and then come back. I’ll wait.

I think as you get older you start to accept the things that make you happy. It doesn’t sound like a hard thing to do but it also involves letting go of that imaginary person you think you are. Figuring out what makes you happy is a process of trial and error, you need to try things to find out if you like them. Sometimes you see an image or a stranger and you think, “Yeah, I want to be like that person and then I’ll be happy”. I thought that whenever I saw joggers but when I actually started training for a marathon I hit a point where I realized I was just hating it. So I had to let that idea go of eventually becoming one of those people who gets up every morning at 5am and runs while the sun is rising all peaceful and whatnot. Instead, I’m the kind of person who sleeps in until the absolute last minute and then frantically scrambles to work composing themselves just outside the office doors (nothing peaceful about it).

So here are the things I have accepted make me happy regardless how other people feel about them:

1. Dancing in clubs to really horrible pop music

2. Peanut butter

3. Reading

4. Aerial silks

When I picked up a book called The Happiness Project a little over a year ago I almost felt embarrassed going to the cashier with a book on happiness. After all, shouldn’t happiness be something you either are or you aren’t? Isn’t the self-help section for people who are too cheap to pay for therapy? Is the Chapters cashier judging me?? Anyhoo, I made it out without having a total episode and this book ended up being worth the anguish. Not to be too over-dramatic, but it made me re-examine how I’d been living my entire life up to this point (and I’ll probably refer to it frequently). So here’s one particular quote that stuck with me:

“What’s fun for other people might not be fun for you…and vice versa”

This sounds like common sense but internalizing it was a whole other process. So I made a list of a few things that make other people happy but I secretly hate and would put up with because it’s supposed to be fun.

1. Ice cream- this stuff is like a stomachache in a cone. Plus it’s cold and sticky and there’s no lady-like way of eating it out of a cone and the cone is the best part.

2. Karaoke- listening to people sing the worst songs off-key or even worse, being forced to go up there yourself is the opposite of fun for me.

3. Beer- bloated and burppy are not the side effects I’m looking for when I drink.

4. Driving- I get why some people enjoy this. I personally love being the passenger on long drives, but I’m a mess behind the wheel.

And just in case you think my life is completely joyless, I’ll follow-up this post with one about the stuff I like (that some people probably hate).

Ok, how do I say this without sounding crazy? Well, my second quarter life crisis tip for you is to look into your future. Not just sitting and thinking about your life goals or creating a plan (I’ll address those in another post), but to consult a professional. This could mean a life coach, career adviser, or (in my case last Wednesday) a psychic.

No wait, hear me out!

First of all, I am not recommending just any old “psychic” with a neon sign in their living room window. Word-of-mouth is the best way to find a reputable psychic. I met Selina through a co-worker who raved about her work and it sparked my interest to see what she would have to say about me.

So I signed myself and my mom up for a 30 minute session each, and off we went. Selina works out of her home (no neon sign). She led us to the basement where there was a waiting area and down the hall was the room where she does readings (no crystal ball).

First she asked to hold something of mine that hasn’t belonged to anyone else, she closed her eyes for a moment and then just started talking.

Here are some of the points she made about me that were very accurate:

- I have a lot going on in my head
- I am constantly analyzing things
- I have a lot of ideas

Here are some of the points she made that were not so accurate (but keep reading because this also might be accurate):

- I do a lot for other people so I don’t take enough time for myself (I thought “Lady, I’m a single 20-something living on my own. Trust me, I’m pretty good at being selfish especially with my time”…as I write this from a bubble bath)

Here are some of the points she made about my future (mainly job-related because that’s what I requested information about):

- my current job is draining because there’s a lot of direction and work coming from outside sources that don’t leave room for learning and creativity (true!)
- there’s a big transformation coming (true! At the time, I was in the midst of accepting a new job)
- my corporate career will pull me along for awhile, but she sees me going freelance or consulting
- she sees me selling something lucrative

Her advice:

Before I can pursue any of my entrepreneurial aspirations I need to clear out my mental garbage. I always have a lot of ideas but to really see something clearly and make a good plan I need to take some time to clear the weeds in my head.  This idea hit me like a ton of bricks! This is exactly how I’d been feeling without being able to articulate it, and I think this might be an issue for a lot of people going through a quarter life crisis. Here are some of the ways she recommends cleaning out your brain clutter:

- journaling
- meditation
- being more aware of your thoughts
- consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive ones

(Lightbulb: maybe this is what she meant by not taking enough time for myself. I need to make the time to sit down with myself regularly and do some mental housekeeping!)

If you’re planning to see a psychic make sure you:

1. Find someone reputable
2. Have an open mind
3. Prepare some questions so you get what you want out of the session

P.S Want to hear something spooky? My mom had a lot of questions about her family, and one thing Selina said about a member of my family is that she sees something wrong with their skin. That night that person called to tell my mom they were having some skin issues!

This mystery city might be a little more challenging than the first one. But there’s one dead giveaway in this photo that should be slapping you in the face. This one’s also in Canada so if you know the province then you probably know the city as well. Leave your guess in the comments below.

How could you not click on an article with the word shmaging in the title? I’m always looking for more motivation to keep me working toward my goal of running a marathon in December, so stumbling across an article like this is motivational gold!

Fountain of youth is a treadmill: Exercising on a treadmill for 45 minutes, three times a week, warded off the effects of premature aging in lab mice, a Canadian study shows.

Here’s the #1 quarter life crisis tip that will help get you to the other side of this wretched milestone: Get off Facebook!

This is an obstacle that none of our QLC predecessors had to combat, and at first glance you might not even think of it as an obstacle. The worst thing you can do when you begin to question your career path, lifestyle choices, past relationships etc. is compare yourself to the image people project via Facebook.

Comparisons in general are dangerous territory to navigate when battling a QLC, but keep in mind that Facebook profiles aren’t accurate representations of your friends’ lives. Facebook is just the good side — no one ever posts photos of themselves grocery shopping on laundry day with a hang-over or crying into a vat of ice cream after a bad day at work. Real life is ugly so there’s no way Facebook can or should act as your measuring stick for life.

Here are some tips for beating a Facebook addiction:

1. Limit yourself to 20 minutes of Facebook time a day (then you’ll only have time for the essentials: creeping your friend’s photos, of course)

2. Block status updates in your newsfeed* from people who make you feel bad about yourself. They might not intend to but if hearing about their awesome relationship, career or life in general makes you feel bad about yourself then why not? It’s YOUR newsfeed after all.

3. Try deactivating your account for just a week (come on, just ONE week) and you might find that you don’t even miss it.

* to block status updates, go to your newsfeed and hover over someone’s status. A small x should appear on the right.

I think I am naturally a very lazy person but some days it terrifies me to think that the writers of Wall-E aren’t far from the truth. I have a sedentary desk job, transportation is a pretty sedentary activity, and then when I get home if I don’t workout then I’m sitting. Think about how much sitting the average person with a desk job does, it’s terrifying!

I’ve briefly considered getting a standing desk but I think I’d just end up giving up and working from my couch. Does anyone have advise for getting more exercise into my day rather than just my standard workout time?

What: Clothing/accessories swap!

When: Feb 27th 1pm-5pm

Cover: $10 covers the swap (plus wine and light snacks)

Click here to RSVP

Where: RE:Style Studio, 344A Westmoreland Ave, Toronto. Look how pretty it is:

Photo courtesy of BlogTO

Details:

Don’t be embarrassed, we’ve ALL got heaps of clothes we never wear. Now is the perfect time to comb through your closet and toss everything you don’t wear into a bag (the more the merrier — people and clothes). And be brutally honest with yourself, here are some tips to help you sort:

1. Don’t hang onto clothes that DON’T FIT (whether you’re saving those pants for skinnier days or are reluctant to toss that top just in case the weight comes back, girl that is just bad karma!)

2. If you consistently find yourself gazing into your closet thinking, ‘I have nothing to wear‘ then get rid of all that clothes you’re looking at! You should only keep clothes that make you feel good.

3. It’s the end of a season and the beginning of spring, so if you didn’t wear that sweater this winter or if you didn’t wear that dress last spring then them into the bag for the swap.

It should be easy to find something to wear because everything you own should look good on you, fit properly and just plain make you feel fabulous. Who needs all that extra clothes clutter weighing you down. Plus all the extra clothes will be donated to Nellie’s or Goodwill at the end of the swap.

We look forward to seeing you there!

I’m not sure how I feel about having such manufactured nickname. I always though nicknames were supposed to be more organic and kind of bestowed on something or someone rather than assigned by a panel of judges (but what do I know, all the nicknames I’ve been given have all been short-forms of my name. And for a two-syllable name shortening it is just down right lazy).

So here it is: El Toro

What do you think? Here’s the whole story (my personal favourite was The Big Toe).