http://www.yourinnerskinny.ca/follow-dreams-its-worth-it/

There’s a lot of name-calling that happens when a new generation enters the workforce. And right now it’s Generation Y’s turn to be bullied by the older kids on the work playground. But that doesn’t mean they’re (we’re) taking it lying down.

The Wall Street Journal says that Gen Y will make up 40% of the workforce by 2020, and (like the generations before them) they’re shaking things up.

First thing’s first, this is not a new concept. Every generation brings new strengths and opinions into the workforce based on the society and economic climate they grew up in.

Here’s just a few things I think Generation Y will contribute (or are already contributing) to the workforce:

1) A better work-life balance. Whether it be flexible hours or working remotely, this generation does not see value in sitting at a desk 9-5 day in and day out. Because, in my opinion, there isn’t value in it anymore with the invention of the internet, social media, and smart phones.

2) A career they care about. The generations before Y scoff at this idea without even thinking about it, it’s like a default reaction but why? You will spend a humongous amount of your life working, so why is loving what you’re working on considered a luxury?

3) Fun. For some work environments this could mean wearing jeans on a Monday, for other work places it could mean taking an hour everyday to play Halo in teams. According to this guy, having a fun work environment is one of the top qualities Gen Y looks for in a job.

The work will all get done today and it will be there long after you’re gone, why not enjoy it a little more?

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you and this isn’t a sad letter telling you that I’m shutting down the site. But I’m going to be honest because there’s a lot of you still coming to the site everyday even though I haven’t updated in awhile (you have so much good karma coming your way, may Bradley Cooper shower you with kisses..…yeah I know, Ryan Gosling’s hotter. Listen, you get 2011’s sexiest man alive. I don’t work for People magazine, take it up with them).

So here’s what I’ve been wrestling with. I don’t like pink. Well, not that I don’t like it but I think I’ve just outgrown it. The colour doesn’t suit me anymore. I am not a peppy, pink, shiny girl who loves networking, expensive restaurants and hosting fancy parties. Frankly, that stuff really stresses me out (rewind to my hyperventilating panic attack before the launch party of this site. Thanks, Sean : ).

And I also don’t care about quick easy weight loss tips, beauty secrets of super models, and what perfume matches your dog’s personality that will hook you a husband in 10 days. So I looked at other websites created for you guys (and holy crap, are some of them ever successful!) and I tried to fit in. Frankly, I felt like an outsider trying to squeeze in with the cool kids. Because guys, I’m not cool.

My parties are not fancy, they’re loud and messy and they leave my floor sticky for days no matter how many times I mop. I care more about my career than my hair. And if you are looking for good dating advice, you are in the wrong place, my friend. Believe me.

So with all of that in mind, I have been struggling to redesign the logo and editorial concept for this site for the past year to make it something…more.

I wanted to let you know that I have not given up. I’m just going to redecorate this place while you’re on vacation. And I’ll see you when you get back.

xoxo
Dayna

My job is already feeling stagnant (and I haven’t been here that long), how do you make a job feel fresh again?

The first step is to get crystal clear on what gives you a sense of fulfillment. Think back to the honeymoon period of your job. What was fresh and exciting about it? What made you look forward to coming into work in the morning? If you are drawing a blank, ask yourself these three powerful questions:

1. Which of my strengths do I enjoy using most?
2. What type of work can I do that will peak my interest?
3. What is important to me at this stage in my life?

Answering these questions will help you to re-connect with yourself. Then you can identify ways of getting more of this type of work. Take the initiative to identify projects or opportunities that will keep you engaged and excited.

Research has shown that when you use your strengths and do work that you find interesting, you will be happier and more successful in your career. Knowing what you want will help you to define the action that you need to take.

Whether you’ve got some suspicions about your partner’s fidelity or just a little curious, take this quiz to find out if your partner could be having an affair.

1. When you first started dating your boyfriend’s Blackberry phonebook was full of:
a. A few buddies, a few exes, and lots of random girls.
b. His buddies, his parents, and you.
c. His buddies, his parents, you…and a few random girls.

2. You’ve been talking all week about the really big, really important meeting you have at work on Friday afternoon, when you return home that evening he:
a. Isn’t even home. There is a note on the table saying he went for a few drinks with his buddies.
b. Immediately rushes in to ask how the meeting went.
c. Doesn’t say anything but as soon as you mention it he takes a genuine interest in hearing about how it went.

3. His phone rings during a date and you get a glimpse of an unfamiliar number, he:
a. Doesn’t make eye contact and takes the phone into the other room to take the call.
b. Answers it and starts chatting away right next to you.
c. Ignores it.

4. You’re out at a bar and he sees his best friend’s girl with another guy, he:
a. Ignores it and when you question him he says it is none of his business.
b. Pulls out his phone, takes a pic, sends it to his buddy, and then calls him right away.
c. Sends his friend a text telling him he just saw a girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend at the bar with another dude. From there he leaves the problem up to him.

5. You and your man sit down to have that serious talk about past relationships, his naughty little secret is:
a. That he cheated on his ex…a few times…but that “it was no big deal really”
b. That he has fantasized about other girls while in bed with his exes…but who hasn’t right?
c. That he cheated on his ex once but was so wracked with guilt he came clean and could never see himself doing it again.

6. A few months back you suggested that maybe your boyfriend should take up a new hobby. What did he do?
a. Nothing. But he does seem to be taking a lot more late night meetings at work.
b. Signed himself up for cooking classes so that he could finally make you a romantic dinner once and a while.
c. Bought a membership to the city’s most exclusive gym and all of a sudden has the body of a Greek god.

7. Your sex life…
a. Is virtually non-existent
b. Is just as great as it always was.
c. Has its ups and downs. But that happens to every couple after a while…right?

Mostly A’s: He’s probably cheating

The very fact that you are doing this test is the first clue that you may have some suspicions about your partners fidelity, says Al Duncan, owner of the confidential investigation company Toronto PI. “What I always tell clients seeking help is that no one knows the individual party better then the client themselves – if a client has enough suspicion and worry that it drives them to the point where they call out for help, then usually their gut instinct is right”. Withdrawal of sexual activity, mysterious phone calls, and an increase in work meetings or late night activities are all signs that could mean your suspicions are correct. Your best bet is to sit your man down for a chat and explain all the changes you’ve noticed and give him a chance to explain. He may come clean and he may not. Either way you will have to decide if you will ever be able to trust him enough to live with what he may or may not have done.

Mostly B’s: He’s probably not cheating

He is so into you that he wouldn’t give a second look to a full truckload of Hooters girls. The guy who remembers things that are important to you and who is eager to make an effort to make you as happy as you make him is a guy who has no interest in being with anyone but the lovely lady by his side (that’s you!)

Mostly C’s: He could be cheating

This guy is a tricky one. This is the guy who likes to flirt, the guy who likes to go to the gym as much as he likes to admire his physique in the mirror, the guy who’s cheated before but swears he could never do it again. Basically, this is the guy that you haven’t trusted since day one. It is here that you have to decipher whether or not your man is actually acting suspiciously or whether you are just taking his behaviors and blowing them out of proportion because of your insecurities. Your best bet here is to be straight out and let him know that you are having issues trusting him and his behaviors. Chances are that if he’s not cheating he’ll make the efforts to change his ways. Most important here is to give him the benefit of the doubt. And if you can’t, then it is time to find yourself a new man….with a clean slate.

Al Duncan is a retired Detective Sergeant and was one of the longest serving members of the Toronto Police Service Internal Affairs Unit. His company Toronto PI offers a reliable and completely confidential service to members of the general public and corporate law offices in the areas of surveillance, missing persons, domestic and child custody matters, computer forensics, civil and criminal investigations. For more information visit www.torontopi.com or email info@torontopi.com

Getting laid off or even fired can be a shocking and upsetting experience. Being prepared can help cushion the blow so take our quiz to find out if your job could be on the chopping block next.

Whether it is due to tough economic times or poor work performance, find out where you stand in the working world:

1. No matter what you have still waiting to be done on your desk, you leave the office:
a. Not until everything is done, you hate leaving with work still waiting.
b. Probably an hour late, you don’t want your desk to look too messy.
c. Right at 5:00, you do have a personal life after all.

2. During staff meetings you:
a. Take careful notes and often send out meeting minutes for those who didn’t follow as carefully as you did.
b. Sip your coffee trying to stay awake, jotting down the occasional thing that filters through your mind.
c. Barely cover your yawns with your hand, what happened to your note pad anyway?

3. When given a big new project to tackle you:
a. Jump in feet first, you love a new challenge.
b. Moan and groan a bit to your friends and colleagues, but start working away.
c. Procrastinate until the deadline is approaching. You work better under pressure anyways.

4. The frequency of personal emails to your inbox could be described as:
a. Absolutely none. Your friends know you are at work to work.
b. A couple every day, some things just can’t wait.
c. Frightening, and you hope your boss never finds out. But everyone does this, right?

5. When you read about your company in the news it is usually about:
a. One of the top employers in Canada again!
b. A few rumblings about possible layoffs, but nothing in your division.
c. How your main client is no longer signed with your company.

6. When your co-workers start planning an office get together you think:
a. Of course! And is there anything I should bring?
b. An hour tops, and then I need to get out of here.
c. Spend time outside of work with them?!

7. Your office has just acquired a new computer system. The first thing you notice is:
a. How much faster you can get everything done now.
b. No more long waiting times for the Internet to connect!
c. That it does your job for you. Hold on…

8. The product your company produces is:
a. Cutting edge and priced accordingly.
b. A little slower, but a lot cheaper than its competition.
c. Recently recalled.

9. You use your sick days:
a. As sparingly as possible, you never get sick.
b. Now and again when you’re sick or feeling ‶under the weather″ on a Monday morning.
c. As much as possible, who needs to wait until they’re sick to have a day off!

10. When you have completed a big project your boss:
a. Thanks you with words of encouragement and mentions your work to those higher up.
b. Nods their appreciation and moves on.
c. Doesn’t acknowledge your contribution at all, in fact, they barely know who you are.

Mostly A’s: You’re in the clear.

Take a breath and relax, you’re in the clear! The star of your workplace, you are the model employee. While you may not love your job, you realize that hard work and professionalism are the keys to not only keeping it, but getting ahead as well. Well rounded, you realize that hard work and good teamwork are essential to a productive workplace for you. Surranna Sandy, President and Editorial Director of Resume Solutions, a Toronto-based career coaching and career management company, notes that people who are both strong performers and strong team players are the ones who will remain when people need to go.

Mostly B’s: You could potentially get laid off.

While not quite out the door, you may have one foot over the threshold. While you do go that extra inch, it’s not quite the extra mile your employer may be looking for. One way to get back onto the path to success – communicate with your manager, set goals and prioritize what is critical to getting your job done. In addition to your own work, work on strong working relationships, as they can help you succeed. “People should build workable relationships that enable them to meet their goals,” says Surranna Sandy, President and Editorial Director of Resume Solutions. Even if you don’t like someone, remind yourself, this is my job, and they are essential to helping me get my job done.

Mostly C’s: You need to start looking for a new job.

Completely unproductive and uninterested in your job, it’s only a matter of time before you’re out the door. If you leaving is due to your company’s decline, what you can do at this point is prepare for leaving says Surranna Sandy, President and Editorial Director of Resume Solutions. She advises taking stock of what you have done in your role to launch your job search and begin networking. “If you prepare, you can adapt,” says Sandy. If you leaving is due to your own performance, start looking at why it’s not the right fit for you before it affects your overall reputation.

Recently, three of my close female friends have been broken up with by a text message. My girlfriends were furious. The guys responsible were instantly branded as “rude” and “total douche-bags”.

I’m in a relationship right now and haven’t been in the dating scene for a few years. I’m wondering, is this normal? Is this where we are headed? Is technology causing us to lose our manners?

(I know I shouldn’t really talk. I broke up with someone using a post-it, but now that almost seems….retro)

Speaking of retro, do you remember those days long ago, when you’d overhear conversations that sounded like this:

“I can’t believe he broke up with you on the PHONE. What a jerk. He didn’t even have the guts to tell you in person”.

I remember in high school breaking up over the phone was considered a total coward’s move. However, this was during an era when the Internet and cell phones were just starting to become popular, before our culture became saturated with smart phones, texting, bbm’s, and social media. Now, I feel like if you get a phone-call you’re lucky.

It all started in university when an ex-boyfriend of mine broke up with me via an email. It hurt so much to see four months worth of dates, kisses, and nakedness distilled into 4 grammatically questionable sentences. I was livid. My first thought when I read his message was, “He didn’t even have the guts to tell me on the phone?!”.

A year later I had another relationship end over MSN messenger. My first thought was “He couldn’t even EMAIL me?!”. I was upset but I wasn’t exactly surprised. I figured getting broken up with in this way was the downside of dating nerds (the upside being that you always have someone to fix your computer).

Still, this experience left me wondering, “What will be next?”

One of my favorite authors, Douglas Coupland attempts to answer this question in his latest book “Generation A”. The book features a short story entitled “Bartholomew is Right There at the Dawn of Language”. The story takes place in future reality where the protagonist Bartholomew, works as a copy editor for a business magazine. Bart comes from a long line of “language purists” and he abhors the many abbreviations that are now part of our daily life (JPEGS, LOL, BBM, RT, WTF, BFF). The beginning of the end for Bartholomew is when he loses the ability to decipher the text messages that are sent to him. In this future reality, people have begun to send text messages to each other that are composed of only acronyms, abbreviations and numbers. For example “xxx%ghdRTlol” would translate to “Want to go out tonight?”. When the people around him start to talk exactly like they text, he realizes he is trapped in a world where he can no longer understand anyone. Unable to communicate, he becomes a hermit. One day he wakes up to find that The Rapture has happened. Everyone who adopted this new form of communication has left the earth, and the people like Bart, who still preferred to speak in “proper English” are left behind to fend for themselves.

Is this merely one author’s apocalyptic vision or a glimpse into our future? Is it really that far off from reality?

Technology is no doubt changing the way we interact; manage our personal relationships and date. I can’t help but wonder if one day I’ll wake up to a Tweet (or whatever the future equivalent is) that will say:

@by_simone. BR/>>w///u14e6611.kthx

And, I’ll understand “Oh no, he wants to see other people”.

The advent of the “Text Message Break-up” isn’t a sign that people are bigger jerks than they used to be. It’s merely a symptom of the current state of our society. We live in a culture of mass personalization where we are continually bombarded by social media and encouraged to connect with people instantaneously. Communication has become linked to instant gratification. The downside of this is that relationships have become in some ways depersonalized. You can now tell someone something that ordinarily would have been difficult or awkward, without having to look at person in the eye, or see their tears, or hear the disappointment in their voice. The result of this is that your actions lose a sense of consequence.

I was thinking about all of this while waiting for the subway the other day. I looked up and saw a poster for Koodoo Mobile advertising their new text messaging plan. The copy said “Flirting without the awkward silence”. I couldn’t help but wonder; maybe we need that awkward silence. It reminds us that behind the screens of our iPhones and Blackberries, we are all people with feelings. Maybe its this silence that will save us from ourselves and not the other way around.

Click here to read more on love, sex and relationships specifically for 20-somethings.

When I picked up a book called The Happiness Project a little over a year ago I almost felt embarrassed going to the cashier with a book on happiness. After all, shouldn’t happiness be something you either are or you aren’t? Isn’t the self-help section for people who are too cheap to pay for therapy? Is the Chapters cashier judging me?? Anyhoo, I made it out without having a total episode and this book ended up being worth the anguish. Not to be too over-dramatic, but it made me re-examine how I’d been living my entire life up to this point (and I’ll probably refer to it frequently). So here’s one particular quote that stuck with me:

“What’s fun for other people might not be fun for you…and vice versa”

This sounds like common sense but internalizing it was a whole other process. So I made a list of a few things that make other people happy but I secretly hate and would put up with because it’s supposed to be fun.

1. Ice cream- this stuff is like a stomachache in a cone. Plus it’s cold and sticky and there’s no lady-like way of eating it out of a cone and the cone is the best part.

2. Karaoke- listening to people sing the worst songs off-key or even worse, being forced to go up there yourself is the opposite of fun for me.

3. Beer- bloated and burppy are not the side effects I’m looking for when I drink.

4. Driving- I get why some people enjoy this. I personally love being the passenger on long drives, but I’m a mess behind the wheel.

And just in case you think my life is completely joyless, I’ll follow-up this post with one about the stuff I like (that some people probably hate).

Heather Jones is an amazing 20-Something woman that helps bring life into the world. She is a certified doula and personal trainer with bebo mia, which she balances with raising her two year old son. As a doula, Heather provides emotional support and guidance to pregnant women and their families before, during and after the birth experience. Not sure what a doula is? Heather clears up some misconceptions about doula care and lets us know about the busy lives of Toronto doulas.

What is the difference between a doula and a midwife?
A doula is a support person during a birth; we are not a part of the medical staff. We do not do anything medically related to the labour and delivery, such as blood pressure, fetal monitoring, that is what your care provider is for. Midwives aren’t able to provide the same emotional support to the mother or couple in the same way that a doula can. A doula’s support role is tri-fold; physical, emotional and informational.

What’s your typical experience with a client?
Usually clients call us somewhere around the middle of their pregnancy, but some people call us as soon as they find out they are pregnant or a week before their due date! We meet with them for a consultation, and if they decide to continue with our care we set up their pre-natal visits. We create a birth plan, talk about what to expect during the labour, any wishes around the labour or any fears. At the second pre-natal we discuss what to expect with the first few weeks with the baby, newborn’s appearance and behaviour, as well as a lot of mom care and focus on breastfeeding. We are there for the entirety of the birth, and also make a postpartum visit to the new family within the first two or three weeks after the birth.

So what happens when the mom goes into labour?
When they reach term, which is 37 weeks pregnant, we are 24/7 on call. We like to keep in touch with them regularly because we like to know what’s going on both physically and emotionally leading up to the birth. Moms notify us as soon as they think labour might be starting, and after that we keep in touch every couple of hours until we join them in labour. We are there for the entire labour, whether it’s three hours or fifty hours we are there! Then we stay a few hours after the baby is born to help establish breastfeeding and make sure mom and everyone is comfortable. Once they are ready to have a little nap, we sneak out.

What types of births do you attend?
One of the misconceptions about having a doula is that is it is something for hippies or only people wanting all-natural births. We support and go to all sorts of births ranging from scheduled C-sections to all natural home births. The majority of births are in the hospital and many with an epidural. It’s not our birth experience; we are there to help the mother or couple have a positive birth experience for them. Whatever path they take to get there – we support them.

What’s the best part of the birthing experience?
That’s a tough one. I really like preparing the parents for childbirth and the post partum period through educating them at the prenatal meetings.
Then at the actual birth, it’s really great watching women feel empowered and in charge of their birth; there really are lots of choices when it comes to childbirth, and as a doula I educate couples around those choices so that they can make informed decisions. A woman that is confident in her own choices and follows her instincts and really listens to her body – that’s probably the best part for me.

What is that moment like when the first baby emerges and you hear that cry?
It’s pretty intense. Even though you have only met the couple a few times and spend a few hours with them face to face before the labour begins, it’s still very emotional. Tears are shed and there is usually lots of celebration.

What are some of the challenges with a job like this?
Being on call – especially if you have young kids yourself, like I do. It’s hard to find on call babysitters. If I am called in the middle of the night, which typically happens, then I have to arrange for care early in the morning. My plans can be interrupted, so if I’m called on a weekend and the family was going to the zoo, for example, we would have to reschedule. It’s a challenge to work around your own family life.

How do you provide support to mothers when you are personally feeling exhausted or worn out during a long labour?
You need to make sure that you are still taking care of yourself. If the mom is taking a little rest then we can rest too. It doesn’t always have to be “try this position” or giving a massage or giving encouraging words. It can also just be our silent presence that is required. There have been studies where a doula has just been sitting in the corner, not doing anything, and birth outcomes are still better because the mom just knew she was there. However, we work with a secondary doula for each client and if need be, the secondary could relieve us.

Tell me about bebo mia and how you got connected with them?
We are a great company. We do all sorts of care, everything from fertility support and nutrition, to hypno-birthing, all the way through to parenting, including grandparents and sibling preparation classes. It’s really a full spectrum service. I work for bebo mia as a birth doula, a personal trainer and as a post partum doula.
What’s great about bebo mia is that each client gets two doulas; a primary and a secondary. Most doula companies offer a doula back up if the assigned doula cannot make it to the birth. This can create a lot of anxiety for the mom because she hasn’t met or established a relationship with the back-up – it’s a stranger coming into an intimate situation. With bebo mia, both doulas go to the consultation and we share your care during the prenatal meetings so that you are familiar and comfortable with both of us, even though it is most likely that the primary doula would be at the birth.

Do you ever have resistance from family members at the birth who question why you are there?
Oh definitely, often the partner will ask, “What’s my role if we have a doula” and they have concerns that they will be pushed out of the picture. We try to eliminate any of those apprehensions and emphasize that we work with the partner and become the mom’s birth team. We are also there to support the partner and ensure that they are eating and drinking and resting. We relieve the pressure on the partners to remember everything they learned at their birthing classes because we have all that information at the tips of our tongues, such as what position to try, or if something is normal or not.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your first baby or your third, extra support around your birth and the postpartum period is beneficial to everyone. In our society we are expected to be Supermoms and we really need to take a step back and just be comfortable asking for help. There are high rates of post partum depression and negative feelings about birth experiences. I think having a doula helps eliminate a lot of those negative feelings surrounding the birth and uncertainties post partum.

I know that one of your mottos is “A Doula for everyone that Wants One”. This is a business, how do you manage to make it affordable?
Yes that is the goal. Bebo mia works with families of all budgets. We do have set fees which are on par with Toronto doulas. However, we do also take volunteer clients or can offer lowered pricing for families that cannot afford our full fee. We don’t want to turn anybody away, so we each take on a certain amount of volunteer births. All of the doulas a bebo mia are passionate about our jobs. We also offer a doula mentorship program to help new doulas through their certification. One component of certification requires attendance at three births, so volunteer clients are a good way to obtain those births for certification. It’s win-win because the families get great doula support and the doulas get an opportunity to work towards certification.

Want to know more about BeboMia? Visit their website at www.bebomia.com

Ok, how do I say this without sounding crazy? Well, my second quarter life crisis tip for you is to look into your future. Not just sitting and thinking about your life goals or creating a plan (I’ll address those in another post), but to consult a professional. This could mean a life coach, career adviser, or (in my case last Wednesday) a psychic.

No wait, hear me out!

First of all, I am not recommending just any old “psychic” with a neon sign in their living room window. Word-of-mouth is the best way to find a reputable psychic. I met Selina through a co-worker who raved about her work and it sparked my interest to see what she would have to say about me.

So I signed myself and my mom up for a 30 minute session each, and off we went. Selina works out of her home (no neon sign). She led us to the basement where there was a waiting area and down the hall was the room where she does readings (no crystal ball).

First she asked to hold something of mine that hasn’t belonged to anyone else, she closed her eyes for a moment and then just started talking.

Here are some of the points she made about me that were very accurate:

- I have a lot going on in my head
- I am constantly analyzing things
- I have a lot of ideas

Here are some of the points she made that were not so accurate (but keep reading because this also might be accurate):

- I do a lot for other people so I don’t take enough time for myself (I thought “Lady, I’m a single 20-something living on my own. Trust me, I’m pretty good at being selfish especially with my time”…as I write this from a bubble bath)

Here are some of the points she made about my future (mainly job-related because that’s what I requested information about):

- my current job is draining because there’s a lot of direction and work coming from outside sources that don’t leave room for learning and creativity (true!)
- there’s a big transformation coming (true! At the time, I was in the midst of accepting a new job)
- my corporate career will pull me along for awhile, but she sees me going freelance or consulting
- she sees me selling something lucrative

Her advice:

Before I can pursue any of my entrepreneurial aspirations I need to clear out my mental garbage. I always have a lot of ideas but to really see something clearly and make a good plan I need to take some time to clear the weeds in my head.  This idea hit me like a ton of bricks! This is exactly how I’d been feeling without being able to articulate it, and I think this might be an issue for a lot of people going through a quarter life crisis. Here are some of the ways she recommends cleaning out your brain clutter:

- journaling
- meditation
- being more aware of your thoughts
- consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive ones

(Lightbulb: maybe this is what she meant by not taking enough time for myself. I need to make the time to sit down with myself regularly and do some mental housekeeping!)

If you’re planning to see a psychic make sure you:

1. Find someone reputable
2. Have an open mind
3. Prepare some questions so you get what you want out of the session

P.S Want to hear something spooky? My mom had a lot of questions about her family, and one thing Selina said about a member of my family is that she sees something wrong with their skin. That night that person called to tell my mom they were having some skin issues!

Observe, this barking laugh:

While the happiness is good, you will notice my squinched eyes.  The veins and tendons popping out of my neck and forehead.  The skin on my face crumpling into a million dimples. The protruding overbite. The hunched shoulders.

I have been advised to practice smiling in the mirror to make sure my wedding day face translates as well into photos as the setting undoubtedly will.  I suck in front of cameras.  My natural reaction is to goof around.  Look like an idiot.  I feel pretentious when I try to be serious.

I’m actually nervous about looking good in my wedding photos.

So all you camera whores out there, I’ve found some advice from the Rock n’ Roll Bride’s owner, editor, and photographer on how to pose in photos.  Just thought I’d share the good. Also, note that when she talks about natural laughter, her maw isn’t hanging open like mine.

I’m taking notes.