...Is it, really? As a nutritionist and a life coach - I could've chosen many controversial photos that would shock you with the unsavoury effects of our judgements on others and ourselves when it comes to food. This photo caught my eye as it was originally captioned as "a good choice from each of the necessary food groups". As someone who knows - even this light cartoon assertion is a judgement that what's good for everyone is good for you, and vice versa. ...Please keep in mind and heart that we are all individuals for a reason.

We all do it to others, and twice as much (and as hard) to ourselves. Yes, I’m talking about judgement. Placing judgement is something that is innate to human behaviour, and especially comes part and parcel with all things food. While we all know we “shouldn’t” (consider my big and sharpened index finger tightly holstered in my fist, where it belongs…) we all do it, and I think we can further agree that no matter the judger or judgee – in the end, it just plain sucks. Who gives us the right – and why, knowing what we know and how we feel about it – to do it at all? Amidst the resolutions flying around (if you haven’t dropped them already!), the new year, and the annual outbreak of the January blues – you’d think we’d be tired of this same old finger-pointing routine (if there was a time to take a break, this would be the month to cut society some slack!) JUST in case you’ve had time to gain any momentum for those resolutions to set in, especially if yours are about cleaning up your health, there’s already an unsightly chocolate-filled speed bump on its way. (Please address your comments and for this dieting deal-breaker of a holiday here.) Yes, you can point your fingers this one time.) You’re not alone – as this is one of the key reasons and excuses as to why being mindful of ourselves and others (including and especially eating) fails time and time again; especially at this time of year, we lose present-time consciousness because the voices upstairs (and outside) get the better of us and our already weakened self-discipline. The standard and expectation bars are set high in December; come the new year, judgement starts flying, breaking any hopes and dreams you had for personal growth and change. Yeah, judgement – I’m judging and pointing the finger at you.

My post has to do with a blog I recently read, detailing a boyfriends’ mock-intervention for his girlfriend and her sugar-loving habits. He goes on to say that, “she’s totally addicted to sugar… she craves it like crack… we should sugar detox for a week” (at least he’s being supportive.)  His question, although specific, stands as a good one for us all: Is it okay that he ration his girlfriends’ sugar consumption… does she need a sugar intervention? Hold on a second, buddy (and exactly my point) …when is it okay that we comment or judge others’ plates, waistlines, habits, diets, etc. …and is it really, ever? Unless this is a serious disorder or issue – when do you have the right to intervene on anyone’s behalf (and is it really for their benefit) – or what is it in you, like the people that posted comments after his initial anecdote, that urges you to post your two cents, instead of keeping your eyes on your own plate, and your own waistline? Last time I checked, they don’t give degrees for this kind of judging. …Another word I haven’t used that means the same thing is the word control – but that sets a completely different tone – yet is still applicable, isn’t it? …Food for thought.

Another topic as a nutritionist that I run into is eating alone versus eating with families/spouses/partners. Similar to the above – often people don’t feel capable of maintaining diets (or resolutions, for that matter) when it comes to food simply because they are part of a unit, and can’t separate their needs from the greater good. While those of you that exhibit this type of behaviour might thing you’re doing your friends/loved ones a favour by not burdening them, you’re only burdening yourself (…and yes, that’s a bad thing.) We’re not living in the 50s for a reason; I tell my clients that while it’s nice to sit down together – there’s no reason you have to eat the same thing (if you can’t fully enjoy it together) – or that you both can’t make your own meals, and still sit to eat them together. This also applies if you have kids, or parents you look after – it’s all about you, as it is about them; everyone’s got to leave control and judginess away from the table. Again though – another (larger) topic, definitely for another time.

So tell me: Why do we feel that food, eating, and dietary habits (including our own and others’ weight gain and loss) are open season for judging them, ourselves, and others? When did tough love and ultimatums enter into the food arena – and what does that say about those in your life that offer that kind of help?